Search Terms that Make Me Happy
I put an invisible web tracking thingie on this website a few days ago. It tracks every single page. Aside from the joy of discovering far more than nine people visit here daily—tens of people, I tell you, tens come here daily—was the endless pleasure provided by the list of search terms that bring people here.
I cannot express how happy these make me. There's the obvious ones: "justine", "larbalestier", "scott westerfeld", "science fiction guru" etc., etc., yawn, yawn, yawn. But then there's the cool ones that make me adore the internet and the search engines it has spawned:
pain being dumped relationship
(Turns out that this search and variations on it happen a lot. I'm thinking of starting up my very own advice column.)
writer procrastination
(Always best to ask an expert.)
french people and australians
(Though this musing is all about Aussies and USians. But, hey, I'm Australian and I've met French people and we got on just fine. Does that help?)
how to understand science fiction's underlying meaning
(That's what I'm here for.)
2003 Blackout in New York City will it happen again
(I say yes. In the future.)
liberty and knicks
(Liberty WAY better than Knicks. Yay VJ! CRob! Elena! Becky! DTrain! Let's go, Liberty!)
worst buffy episode
(No, not "Beer Bad". Stop it, people, leave that episode alone.)
hard spellings
(Which, sadly, has nothing to do with Aaron or his daughter.)
brian lara antics while batting
(My favourite of the many searches that lead straight to my Beginner's Guide to Cricket. Of all the things I've accomplished in my life I am most proud that my cricket musing is the number one hit if you google "cricket" plus "beginner" plus "guide". It's humbling to realise that, yes, I am making the world a better place.)
left-wing science fiction
(But unfortunately I get no hits for right-wing science fiction. Until now that is. How cunning was that?)
never begin sentence with and but
(And my musing will certainly help wipe out that dreadful grammatical crime.)
andrea marcovicci bio
(Such a goddess. Sigh. I have to see her perform again.)
usians
(The two musings that deal with the USian question are both top ten google hits. I really hope someone out there is writing essays on the subject and that I am their primary source. The old ticker just swells at the thought.)
san miguel de allende blog new york writer
(Also san miguel plus "water supply", "bike", "weather" or
"real estate".)
babies' jetlag
(Well, at least I know a shitload about one of those. I apologise for not being able to help with your confused babies.)
non-fiction writing advances
(I suspect I wasn't as helpful as they'd hoped. So here's what I know: They're typically bigger than fiction advances.)
photos of my full nude wife too
(I imagine this searcher was also a wee bit disappointed.)
naturally big tits
(Though not as disappointed as this person.)
researching crucial issues
(But clearly I made up for it by completely saving this person's academic career.)
first person tense in english language
(Oh dear. Not really helping this person either.)
what does it mean barking mad
(But this I know a vast deal about.)
And drum roll for my all-time favourite search term:
burst bladder torture
(Life is good.)
New York City, 18 July 2004
© 2004 Justine Larbalestier
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